Realizing
by Hogwarts.is.Home
Summary: this is my version of New Moon. Bella is dealing with the sadness of losing Edward and tries to deal with it. she thinks all hope is lost when an unsuspecting visitor comes back. Danger and Romance are in the air! yeah i suck at summeries. please read!B
1. Time Heals all wounds

this is my version of new moon. it takes place right after the months are listed. no waring as of right now... lol

author note: ok this is my first fanfiction! i will try to get these chapters out as fast as possible. please rtae and review i hope you like it!

Time heals all wounds

"Bella"

I hand Charlie his oatmeal and fake a smile. He takes the oatmeal silently and takes one big bite. His gaze never leaves mine. I know he has something to say, and that whatever it is, he does not want to say it but thinks he must. This is not going to be good.

"Bella, I"

His gaze hardens and he tries to convey a message that I do not understand. It is as if me is speaking a foreign language and asking me to decipher it in one glance.

"Bella, I do not want to say this"

"Then don't!"

The pain flickers across his face, but it does not hurt him. He was probably expecting a remark like that; especially form someone as predictable as me.

"Bella let me say this. You need to get a grip. I know you miss him, but you can't let the pain he caused to rule your life."

"What pain, Charlie? I am fine. "

We both know it is a lie. But, I would rather accept a lie than the truth right now.

"I know you liked him a lot, but you have to move on. This is not healthy. I know what it is like to have someone break your heart, but time heals all wounds, Bella, so please come back"

The memories hit me hard and fast.

"_Don't worry. Your human-you're your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."_

"_And your memories?" I asked. There sounded like there was something stuck in my throat, like I was choking. _

"_Well"- he hesitated for a short second- "I won't forget. But my kind… were easily distracted."_

They are both wrong. Time does not heal all wounds. Some wounds are just so deep that no matter what you do, or how much you try to ignore it, it never goes away. Because, every night I still lay down my head and ask myself. Why was I not good enough? Why would he not want me after all we had been through? How could the love I feel not be reciprocated?

"I will, Dad"

He takes the lie. He is so desperate to hear that I will be better. I will try, but how do you solve a million piece puzzle in one day?

"Bye Dad"

I pick up my bag and walk out into the rain and into my truck. I turn it on and let the heater dry off the water droplets.


	2. I still love Him

Chapter 2 – I still love him

Don't do this Bella. This is stupid.

I pull out the credit card Alice gave me to use for shopping. She gave it to me before, the incident happened. Charlie was right. It will do me no good if I just sit here and wallow in the misery he left behind. I will always love him, but, I need to go on with my life.

And, as Alice says, when you feel down….. Shop. It is such a stupid and trivial way to relive sadness and start new, but I find myself enjoying the idea of a new wardrobe. A new me. Me, loving Edward, but going on with my life.

I walk up to Jessica slowly; this will not turn out well.

"Jessica"

She yes me suspiciously, she knows something is out of place.

"Do you want to go shopping with me tomorrow?"

He mouth drops open, and I don't blame her. I have isolated myself for the past couple of months. I made fantastic grades and my room is as clean as it has ever been, but I found a way of living without actually living. I can't recall what I did or said, I just see the evidence. It is as if waking up from bad dream, just figure out that it was real.

"Yes!"

What? Wow! She said yes.

"Thanks, I'll meet you at the mall in Seattle then"

"Cool"

I turn and walk away as a blush creeps on my face. This is terrifying. I am breaking out of the cocoon I wove, I am finally getting back to a somewhat reality. I walk outside to the biology class. I wish Edward was still there. I want to feel the electric current one more time between us. I want to feel his cold, hard lips crashing down on mine in a completely romantic and passion filled kiss. I want to smell him and to hear is velvety seductive voice. And, I want to see his eyes.

I walk into Biology in a daze and sit down at my lone table. The teacher drones on and all I have is one thought.

Edward.

His name sings in my head like the sweet lullaby he would sing to me as I drifted off into pleasant dreams. But, I still wonder. Did he ever really love me?

"I took your Advice, Dad"

He looks at me with questioning eyes. I hand him his food and turn away as the blush creeps up my face.

"I invited Jessica to go to the mall with me"

"That's great, Bells"

"Thanks"

I smile and sit down to my meatloaf. I eat it happily knowing that I pleased Charlie and would have pleased Edward, well mainly Alice. She probably foresaw this all happening. Does she still look into my future? Will they ever come back? Why wasn't I good enough for Edward?

These questions haunt my mind. Every night I ask myself, why wasn't I good enough? Was there someone else? Did he just not want me because I am a human? Or, was it because I was not beautiful, 

smart, unique, or anything special? I am just a simple, boring, plain, average girl that no one cares that deeply about.

I still love you Edward …….

I will always love you……

Even though you broke my heart, I will love you forever. Even if all my memories of you were wrong; or your love for me was a lie, I will love you.

I finish my meatloaf, and clean the dishes. I walk upstairs, lay my head on the pillow and wait.

I wait for sleep to come. And, tomorrow to start. And for a dream of Edward to began.

And in the night I came to a conclusion. I will love Edward forever. Despite everything he did. And, the living hell he made my life.

I don't give a damn what people think, because I love him and that is all that counts.


	3. Rotten Pixie Dust

Author's note: Here is the next chapter. I do not like this one I just couldn't seem to get it right. Please rate and review. Ooh the next chapter might not be out for awhile we have family over……

Enjoy!

Chp3

Rotten Pixie Dust

I pull my truck out the driveway and speed, well I go fifty, own the highway. I am going shopping on my own free will, this is not good. I must be going crazy? Why did I ever invite Jessica? My phone rings and I pull it out and answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's Jessica. I'm sorry I can't come I got the flu, so yeah"

"Oh, okay, bye"

"Bye"

Did she fake it? Does she just not want to come shopping with me? This day is not off to a good start. I speed along the highway consumed in my thoughts, and I turn into the parking lot. This mall is huge! I cut the engine and walk slowly to the place of doom.

Seattle's mall is like any other mall. People. Stores. Food. Brightly colored. And, in my opinion, a place for only the mentally unwell. I walk towards the first store I see, Nordstrom's. I hear the piano music flow through my ears. It sounds amazing, yet, it brings back a thousand memories oh happier times both pleasant and painful. I head up the escalators to the teen department.

Here I go.

"That will be 1, ooo dollars, Miss"

I hand the woman the credit card and watch in horror as she bags all the clothes I wanted to keep. She places them in two bas, makes me sign a receipt. I take the bag and I walk out in a daze. I have never spent that much on myself. And I just used the Cullen's money. They will know.

Hundreds of dollars spent later, I come out into the main mall. I am strangely satisfied with myself. I have not died so far in the mall. I have actually, more like surprisingly, had fun. My eye catches Chanel and I walk straight towards it. This will be fun.

"Hello welcome to Chanel"

I nod my head and walk into the store. The dresses are stunning. The purses are amazing. The whole store is brilliant. I grab all that I like and go into the dressing room. After several outfits I come out with my favorite clothes. I walk up to the cashier and put the clothes on the table.

"Will that be all, Miss?"

"Yes"

He rings them up slowly. A chill comes up behind me. Goosebumps rise up my arm.

"The yellow dress is stunning", a high voice says to me.

I turn around slowly, and see a short, black haired pixie.

"Alice?"

She looks my in the eyes and smiles.

"What are you doing here?"

"I saw that you would be here, and Edward is out hunting in Scotland."

Pain, I can feel my heartbreaking again.

"Why did h leave?"

"He thought it was what was best for you"

"Here Miss"

I swipe my card, smile, and take my bags and leave. Thankfully, Alice follows. We go sit down by a bench.

"I don't care if he hurts me. I love him. Please, make him come back!"

"Bella,"

"Does he love someone else?"

"Only you"

The tears flow now. This is too painful. So expected, and yet, not wanted.

"How long will he be in Scotland?"

"It won't work"

"Alice!"

I guess this is what you get when you let your heart win, disappointment and never ending pain.

"Alice", it comes out as a horse whisper.

"Bella, No!"

"Then why did you come, Huh"

Great Bella just scream at her. What a perfect way to get what you want. Well, too late now.

"I wanted to see you"

"See me and then go away and go on with your life like nothing happened!"

"I just wanted to give you a proper goodbye"

"Dammit! Alice! You don't understand! You have no idea what it is like to have the man you love walk away from you because he wants you to be safe! You don't know the pain I have gone through!"

If vampires could cry, I think she would be crying. But she is not, and that just makes her look all the more heartless.

"I tried, goodbye. Bella"

She walks away.

"Goodbye you Basterd. You and your family are all Basterds! Tell Edward that I bloody well miss him."

I call after her but it is useless she walks away. She doesn't even look back. I take my bags and walk out to my car. If they are not going to come back, then I will make them come back to me.


	4. Primping like a Princess

Sorry it is so short. But, I am writing the next chapter now so I will have it done later on today.

Chapter 4

Primping like Princess

I pull out my new computer and place it on my desk. Thankfully, the store already programmed it and everything. I look over to see my new, completely full closet. I feel satisfied, in some strange cool way.

I click on internet and type in "flights to Scotland".

This is going to be fun. Who cares if Alice doesn't want me to go? The phone rings so I pick it up.

"Bella"

"Alice!"

"Listen don't fly to Scotland, he won't be there"

"Tell me where he will be or I will go to Scotland"

"He is coming to Forks Tonight, but not see you."

He is coming back!

"Bye"

She hangs up and I put the phone up. He is coming back, just not to me. Then, why would he want to come back. Is there some kind of danger? I need to get him to come to me. I need to do something do incredibly stupid and reckless that he will have no choice but to come back to me. But what should I do? Go clubbing? Drink? Make him think I got raped? I look at the clock. It's seven. Go clubbing and drink.

Brilliant.

I run to my shower and turn it on. I have to loom hot and sexy, just for him. After the water I warmed up, I step in and let it coat me in a layer of liquid warmth. I let it soak my hair and run down my stomach, legs and twinkle onto my toes. I pull out my strawberry scented shampoo and put it in my hair. I rub it in, and then rinse it out. I take out the conditioner and massage it into my hair. Then, I take my razor, shave, then rinse my body down in body wash. I finally let it all rinse out and step out of the shower feeling refreshed. I wrap the towel in my hair and start on my makeup. Where is Alice when you need her most?

I pick up the eyeshadow and properly coat my eyes. Then, I pull out the black eyeliner and mascara. I put on my blush and some lipstick, and I'm done. And, much to my surprise, it actually looks ok. Not as good as what Alice could do, but it is really good for me. I look in the mirror. Now for the hard part. My hair.

Curly

Straight

Crimped

Up

Down

Wavy

How are you supposed to decide! I pick up the plow dryer and turn it on. Whatever it does, I will go with it.

Wavy

Yep it is perfect. My hair falls in loose beachy waves around my face. That is hot! I put on some perfume and deodorant and then I go to my room. I go to my drawers and pull out my sexy, lacy, black bra and panties set I got at Victoria's secret. I then slip into the dress I got at Channel.

I take one final look at myself fin the mirror than go downstairs. I write a quick note to Charlie telling him I will be at Jessica's for the night. I pick p my car keys, to my new ford mustang, and bound out the door.

Edward get ready.


	5. Shake it!

Thanks everyone for reading. I hope you like this. I will have another chapter out soon……. Maybe even today. I am on a roll today!

Anyways I hope you like it don't forget to review.

Shake it!

Chp 5

I should not be here. This was so stupid. I am an idiot. I turn to get out of this club, but I am blocked. Oh joy! A hundred people are dancing or getting drunk around me, and this is what I wanted to do?

"Beer?"

Edward would hate it, but I shouldn't.

"Yes"

"Wait, how old are you?"

Shit

"Twenty one, yeah I know I'm short. Can I just have a beer?"

She hands me a beer and walks off. That was easy, was too easy. I look at the beer. It looks good, and repulsing, bittersweet. I lift the glass up to my mouth and take a sip. The light brown liquid travels down my throat and into my digestive system, and God does that feel so good. I take another sip and before I know it, the glass is empty.

The dance floor suddenly looks very tempting, and fun. I walk out and Paramore's misery Business comes on. This will be fun!

I make my way to the middle and start shaking my hips. I throw my arms up over my head and toss my head around. This is so fun! It's exhilarating! And refreshing, this is amazing. A man dances up next to me, and I turn up the sexy dance moves and show him a thing or two. Who knew that I, clumsy Bella, could actually be good at this? The guy eyes me up and down and I know exactly what he is thinking. A blush comes onto my check and I wiggle my way of the dance floor as the song ends.

I walk up to the bar and get another beer. The lady hands me one and I give her money. She smiles graciously and walks away. I finish the beer quickly and ask for another one. The alcohol helps me forget. I can go into a world with a mind set of only one thing, more beer. I no longer think of why I came here. All I know is the dancing, the beer, and me. And in the world of clubbing, that is all you need.

Shake it comes out and I go out into the dance floor. I start out slow and let my body move to the beat of the music. The main chorus picks up and I shake my head more and wiggle my hips. My hands fly up above my head, and I am on fire. No one can stop me. The clumsy Bella has momentarily disappeared, along with my better judgment, and a party teenager has been released. I back up into someone and quickly turn around.

No one is there. I am on the edge of the dance floor and who I bumped into is no longer there. I scan the crowd and see a fiery red head running to the door. My eyes linger on her till she gets out. There was this intoxicating, dangerous vibe to her that made her memorable. And the hair! How could you miss that orange hair! I back up to the bar and get another beer. This is going to be a fun night.


	6. My Sweet Bella

Hi guys, here is the next chapter. It is in Edward's point of view. Hope you like it! Please tell me how I am doing-- review!

Chp 6

Epov

My Sweet Bella

Forks. We have moved around so many times, but Forks is the one place that is truly home to me. It is where I figured out who I was, and met the love of my life. Why did I have to leave her? I know she has to be protected, but I love her. And, I hate walking away from someone I love. I'm glad Alice said I wouldn't see Bella. It would be too painful, and she would be made or want an explanation. And, I wouldn't be able to give that to her.

I walk along the streets of Forks, alone. I see a book store and walk into it; I have already read all the books. I walk right out and I am, once again, faced with the loneliness of the street. It is three in the morning, no one is out. I could go hunting, but what is the point. I just got back from hunting in Scotland.

I could write a song, but it wouldn't be right without Bella. She is my inspiration. I have been dead without her, well not technically but as dead as you can be for an immortal vampire. Immortal. How am I supposed to go though eternity without a lover at my side like the rest of my family? But, my lover is in danger, and that is why I came here. I will kill Victoria and then leave.

Bella will never know that I was here or that her precious life was in danger, again. She is such a danger magnet. It is quite cute. The way she pretends to be brave, but you can see the panic in her eyes. And she will think of something embarrassing and a blush will paint her cheeks. Or, how clumsy she is, and how when she falls I can catch her in my arms and have an excuse to hold her close.

Or how here brown eyes could penetrate into me, and, how she makes my still heart flutter. Bella is amazing, beautiful, intelligent, creative, wonderful, and loveable and the woman that I am completely unconditionally, involuntarily in love with.

I round the corner of the street and her scent hits me. She has strawberry shampoo and has put on a new perfume, and alcohol. My Bella has been drinking! I walk faster and see her on the far end of the street passed out. I run to her and cradle her head between me palms. She is wearing a dress that cuts low and fits her perfectly. And, it is yellow, and her hair it falls in loose waves framing her incredibly 

beautiful face. They saw Rosalie is the most beautiful woman ever, they are wrong Rosalie doesn't hold a candle to Bella.

But why is she passed out from an overdose of alcohol? Who did this to her!

_Edward, she did it because she wanted an escape from the pain she was feeling. The pain that you gave her, because you left her. You broke her heart, but she still loves you. _

Alice's thoughts go over and over in my mind. She still loves me. She hasn't moved on. What do I do? I love her and I want to spend my whole life with her yet, I want to stay as far away as possible because I do not want to hurt her. But, I have already hurt her.

I put my thoughts aside and pick Bella up. I run to her house and jump up into her room. I place her on her bed. Her tempting, very tempting bed. Edward! Snap out of it. You can't have sex with an unconscious Bella you will lose control. I kiss her on the head and jump out her window. I run to the 24 hour pharmacy and pick up some hangover medicine.

I run back to her house and place it on her bed stand. I give her one last kiss on the lips before running home. She broke her promise. She promised to be safe, and this is what she does.

My Bella, my silly, intoxicating, love of my life, what will I do with you?


	7. You're What!

This idea it me at the last minute and I thought it was cute! I always liked Jessica and wanted her and Bella to be better friends….. So here is my crazy twisted way of them becoming friends. Yeah, Edward will be back soon! So please review and you can send me messages if you want to know how I think this might turn out. Once again, I have no set plot line…. So yeah. Review, talk to me. Tell me what you like, don't like, want ect. Thanks for all the support! I love you guys!

Chp 7

You're what?

Pain. Throbbing pain is what I awoke too. I look over to my nightstand and see hangover medicine. Does Charlie know? No, that's not possible. Stupid Alice. She will help me but won't speak to me! I take the medicine anyways and let it cure me.

What happened? All I remember is going to a club, a beer, some dancing. God, did I get drunk? Well of course I got drunk I was freakin unconscious by the looks of things. That must have looked lovely, Bella smooth. Wait, did I get raped? Thank God I started taking Birth Control pills to help lessen my period a couple months ago. Ok, so I am safe in that sense, but what did I do while I was drunk? Great this is not good. I am distracted from my thoughts by my cell phone.

"Hello"

"Hi, Bella, listen it's Jess. Will you meet me at IHOP for breakfast in an hour? I have something I need to tell you, I really need your help."

"Sure see you in an hour"

"Thanks, bye"

"Bye"

I hang up the phone and grudgingly get up. I go into the bathroom and get ready.

Jess was there to meet me at the entrance how sweet. I get out of my car and walk up to her. We walk into IHOP silently and get a booth in the back.

"Bella"

"Yes"

"I got myself into a lot of trouble"

Not as much as me.

"What did you do?"

"It wasn't just me, it was Mike and Me"

What could she mean? Oh! She had sex with Mike! What's the big deal? Bella act like you care you can't be rude to Jessica.

"Go on"

"We didn't and I'm not on, we did it last month"

Holy crap! She is pregnant! How the hell could you be so stupid as to not wear a condom? Oh god, this is not good. She is pregnant!

"Jess"

"I don't want a kid! I mean I love him but, a child! I have to give birth and get fat and raise the kid! I won't be able to go to colleague. Everyone is going to hate me and think I am a slut. What the hell did I do?"

She looks so helpless. Tears run down her face and her eyeliner is smearing. She looks vulnerable and afraid. I would be too. She incredibly stupid! But, I do need to help. And, I will need a doctor. Carslie! I could convince them that Jessica needs him then they will have to come back! But, that would be taking advantage of her in her time of great need. This is so complicating and I'm not even the one that is pregnant!

"So that's why you didn't want to go to the mall?"

That would explain her strange behavior.

"I freaked out. I got my first morning sickness that day. Bella, I'm scared."

The waitress brings us our food and we eat in silence. What is there to say? The damage is done. She can't just UN do the sex. She's pregnant and having a baby. Boy that is a conversation killer!

And she wants me to help her! I don't know anything about stuff like this I haven't even had sex yet! I don't even have a boyfriend anymore.

"Bella, I need to ask you something, and I want you to answer honestly"

Yes I think you are a little bit of a slut. No you don't show yet. Yes, I'm your friend…..

"Why did Edward and the Cullen's leave"

What the hell!

"What?"

She looks at me with eyes begging for answers. I will give her as much as I can. She told me so much, she deserves to know.

"It's complicated. And, there are things I simply can't tell you and you just have to accept that. He left because he wanted to protect me. He thought he was a threat to my safety. So he claimed he didn't love me anymore, told his parents and siblings they needed to leave. And, off they went, without even a goodbye"

"I am so sorry"

"It's hard. I wake up and ask myself, if he loved me why didn't he stay and just take the risk! I hate how the love of my life just walked away and expected me to be ok. It hurt and it still does. And I still hope he will come back for me."

"Wow"

She looks up at me and I see sympathy in her eyes. She actually cares and understands. Maybe I underestimated Jessica. I think we will be good friends.


	8. Drunk

Sorry it is so short, I just couldn' t think of anything to write. Anyways, I hope you like it. Please review. And, the next chapter should be up here soon.

Chp 7

I am so bored. I look around the house to see if there is anything I can do. It's perfectly clean, dinner is made, all my homework is done and it is nine at night. What to do?

Clubbing? No, I should not do that again. But, I want to. I will. I run upstairs and throw on a short black dress before bounding out to my car.

"Another drink"

The bartender hands me a glass of wine and I take gladly. I hand him his money and take a long drink. This was a good idea.

A girl with fiery red hair comes up to me and sits down.

"Hi", I stutter.

"Hi, I'm Victoria"

That sounds familiar. It's like a far off dream that I can't remember. But, oh well I will just go along with it.

"I'm Bella"

I finish my drink and Victoria hands me another one.

"On me"

"Thanks"

"Where's your little boyfriend?"

"Away"

How does she know I have, had, a boyfriend. Weird. Must be someone Charlie works with who isn't that up to date with things. I take another sip and let the wine filter into my veins. The room spins even more, I must be drunk. This is not good.

I finish the wine, and can feel myself dosing off into unconscious. I have to get home.

"Do you need help? I can offer you ride home, if you want."

I nod my head. I don't think I can come up any words right now. The woman leads me outside and into her car. She speeds off down the highway as I drift into a dark oblivion.


	9. Back for Revenge

Hi! Sorry I haven't updated in forever. But, I have a lot of time today so I will hopefully get the next chapter out late r on today. And, yes the dress Bella picks out is supposed to be the same dress Keira wore in Atonement. I thought it was such a beautiful dress and wanted Bella to be in it. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter. Please Review!

I love you guys!

Back for Revenge

Chp9

I wake p in my room with a throbbing headache. Great! A hang over.

"Here take this"

A girl with fiery hair hands me a bottle of hangover medicine. I take it and drink all the medicine that I am supposed too. Who is this girl?

"I bet you don't remember me?"

I shake my head.

"I'm Victoria."

Victoria. It sounds so familiar, like a far off nightmare that you try to remember.

"Your little friends killed James. And, I want revenge."

James. That is one name that will always haunt me. I look down to my wrist to see where the bite is. This is not good. Should I scream? No, then Charlie would come and might get killed.

"If you do what I say, I will allow you to live. If not, I will kill you."

Edward said to be safe. So what is the safer option? Life. Either way it will end in death for me, so the longer to live, the better.

"What do you need me to do?"

"I want you to seduce Edward. Alice and Jasper are having their wedding tonight. You need to show up and get Edward to come crawling back to you. Kiss him, bed him, I don't care. But once that is done I will tell you what to do next. And, don't try to tell them. It will just end worse for you."

This is not good. I will need to think of a plan.

"How did you know about the wedding?"

"I've been spying"

She smiles deviously.

"Now, let's go shopping. We need you to look amazing.

I get up out of my bed and prepare for my day as a captive. This cannot be happening.

Even with Victoria at my side, the mall feels like a relief. She can't kill me with hundreds of people around. We walk into Valentino in the hopes of a great dress. I let her browse through; I don't want to upset her.

"Now this is a very formal wedding, everyone who is anyone is invited. We have top designers coming and top medical surgeons. This is the wedding of the year. We are talking, news broadcast, paparazzi, and celebrities. The whole thing and you have to look the best."

Why didn't Alice invite me? We are best friends.

"So this vent is very formal. We will have to dress you like you are going to the Oscars."

Wow, leave it to Alice to have a wedding this extravagant. Victoria and I walk to the back of the store where we lay our eyes on the dress. It is a green, backless halter top. It descends all the way to the floor and is basally stunning. Victoria grabs the dress and ushers me into the dressing room.

I looked hot. The dress fits perfectly. Alice would be so proud. And, it has a vintage feel to it, something Edward will love.

We walk out of the store satisfied; her evil plan might actually work. And I, for reasons unknown even to me, i like it. I want Edward to fall on his knees begging for me. And, if working with Victoria, and saving myself from death, is what it takes, then so be it.


	10. Distraction

Here we go the next chapter. This idea hit me at the last minute and I just loved it. What is the Cullan's secret, only I know. Ooh, I am such an idiot I have been forgetting the disclaimer.

I don't own twilight…… wish I did, but who doesn't?

Please review….

Distraction

Chp 10

"Charlie will be out fishing with Billy all weekend."

Victoria smiled, that is exactly what she wanted.

"I need to know, what do you want from the Cullen's?"

"They hold a secret; they think it is too dangerous for people to know. But, I plan on finding out what it is. That's another reason I think he left you, he didn't want you to know. They have a secret that we need to know."

"What about James?"

"Yeah, him too."

I know I shouldn't but I feel sympathy for her. I know what it is like to have someone taken away from you. Her plan may be evil and completely wrong, but I find a curiosity growing in me. I want to know what this secret is and I want to be back with Edward.

"Well we should go"

I look in the mirror one last time. Victoria really did do a fantastic job. My hair was lightly curled and hanging loosely around me shoulders. My makeup was sexy and I just looked great. I grabbed my purse and we go outside and into her car.

"Now, no one knows we are coming. Alice is too distracted with planning that she won't even look in either one of our futures. Now, I won't be there but I do have some people that work for me there, so don't give us away. If you do I swear I will kill you and the Cullen's, instead of just stealing the secret."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Lay low until the reception; they make sure you are noticed. Try to seduce Edward or at least get him to talk to you. Something strange is going on here in forks, so they will not be leaving. Try to convince him 

and Alice and whatever Cullen's you can to go to school. We need to distract them from whatever it is they are doing."

"So that is why they are having the wedding, to distract."

"Yes, look for anything that will help us."

I look out the window and see us pulling up to their house. Alice went above and beyond, as was expected. It looked amazing. We stopped at the driveway.

"Behave; I will know if you betray me."

I nod my head and get out of the car. Victoria speeds away before anyone can notice she was here. I look around and see various photographers and news reporters. It is packed; there are at least 500 people here. I walk slowly to the back of the house and see where the wedding will take place. I look around and see Jessica kissing mike.

So there are humans here. I walk through the back door and into the living room. I recognize a lot of people from school. I can't help but feel jealousy, why were all of them invited and not me? I take a quick glance around the room to make sure no Cullen's are near. The guests start filling outside and I follow. I grab a seat in the last row right next to the aisle. The seats fill up and a choir starts to sing.

"Seen anything suspicious?"

I look over to the woman next to me. She has topaz eyes and blonde hair, and pale skin.

"Work for Victoria?"

She nods her head. And I get the clue we need to whisper.

"Well then no, I haven't, yet."

She nods her head again.

"Why are your eyes topaz?"

"Part of the plan, I'm a vegetarian and if I need to I will become friends with them."

Victoria thinks through everything. The choir stops singing and the bridal march starts. Alice and Carlise come out of the house and walk down the aisle. Alice's eyes meet mine and I see the panicked look in her eyes. She walks up to the front and I see Edward staring at me, he must have heard Alice's thoughts. I keep my cool and force myself to watch the wedding. It was a lovely wedding, and soon everyone fills out to the side of the house for the wedding reception, here I go.


	11. Deception

So this is the beginning of Victoria's plan. What is the secret she wants? Why is Alice so desperate to have Bella and her be friends, you will find out………. In later chapters

Hehe

Anyways, thanks for all the support, I don't own twilight, yadada

Please review

I hope you like this chapter!

Love,

Disgilr07

Deception

Chp 11

"Bella!"

Alice's high pitched voice rings in my ears as she runs towards me. She hugs me tightly and breaks free.

"What a nice wedding, Alice"

She nods solemnly, guilt floods into her expression.

"I'm sorry"

She whispers.

Well you're not forgiven. How could you? Get away from me you bastard.

All the things I want to say flood through me, but I mustn't fail.

"It's fine. I forgive you."

Lies, how can she not see through it? She nods her head in agreement.

"Edward says, we can hang out now. We are coming back to high school; things can get back to normal."

I see through your lies, Alice.

"That will be great I am so happy, we should hang out. After, your wedding and things."

Panic courses through her eyes but she quickly changes her expression.

"Yeah, that will be great."

"How about in two days, after the wedding night and stuff"

"No"

Caught her.

"Alice, I thought we were going to be friends again?"

"Some other time"

"Why?"

"I can't say"

"Are you going to leave me?" I ask sweetly.

She shakes her head.

"I can't tell you"

"Alice, I can't be friends with someone who won't tell me their secrets. Were friends we share everything. How can I be friends with you when you might be leaving me again?"

"I won't leave"

"Answer the question!"

Shock. She did not expect me to yell at her.

"I can't tell you, I'm sorry."

"Well then we can't be friends, I'm sorry, Alice."

I turn around and walk away.

"Bella, wait."

Bingo.

"I'll tell you, just please I want to be your friend again. You're like a sister to me."

"You won't tell the truth"

"Yes, I will I swear!"

Time for the biggest lie of all.

"I believe you"

She smiles and gives me another hug. How can she be so stupid, she should know that I know something is up?

Jasper comes up and puts a hand around Alice's waist.

"Bella!"

"Hi"

I look around nervously and see the rest of the Cullen's coming near me. Even, Edward.

They all give me hugs and even Rosalie gives me a small hug. Yep they are hiding something.

"Bella, can I speak to you in private?"

I can't help but smile. I have not only helped Victoria but I will be able to be with Edward.

"I would love that"  
"But, after the reception.

"Yes of course"

After the dance between jasper and Alice people start pooling onto the dance floor.

"Will you dance with me?"

I nod my head and let Edward lead me out to the dance floor. A slow song starts and he pulls me close to him as we start swaying to the music.

"Bella, I am so sorry. I was so stupid I never should have left. I want to be with you again. I am sorry; nothing will ever be able to right my wrong. Will you please forgive me?"

"Yes"

He smiles my favorite crooked grin and kisses me lightly on my forehead.

Even though this is all a lie, I still love him. I always have and always will. I can't help but feel bad about what I am doing to him, but I want to protect him. Just like how he tries to protect me. I just hope that he will forgive me.

He pulls me even closer and I breathe in his scent. In this moment, all innocence is lost. I will do whatever it is I have too. I just hope I will be forgiven, and loved by Edward even with all that is about to happen.


	12. Murderer

This chapter is the darkest I have written yet, be warned. Please review and comment. I don't own twilight. Ya ya…….

Love you guys

Murderer

Chp 12

"You did great, Bella"

I smile at Victoria. Our, I mean her, plan is working. We continue our hike through the forest.

"Why are we hiking?"

Victoria rolls her eyes before answering.

"Because, I think better outdoors."

I nod my head and we walk further into the forest through the trail. We push aside the branches and come to a small clearing. We walk into the middle and sit down so that I can rest.

"It is so beautiful out here"

"Yeah it is"

I look around at the dense forest, the sky above us is a shady gray and the grass is a beautiful emerald green. It is so beautiful.

"What?"

Victoria stands up and circles around the small clearing. She looks worried, about what? Is Edward coming?

"Blast"

"What?"

"A boy is coming; don't let him know I am a vampire"

I nod my head and we wait patiently. The leaves rustle and I see a dark figure with long hair coming towards us. It comes closer and closer, it obviously knows we are here. As he comes closer I can see he is a boy, tall with long hair.

Jacob.

Damn

"Bella?"

Victoria looks at me, she is furious. He walks closer and smiles at me, his gaze turns to Victoria and he stops dead in his tracks.

"She's a vampire"

"What? Jacob, why do you think that?"

How does he know, has Victoria been in the reservation?

"Victoria", he mutters.

"Jacob!"

He looks at me.

"She wants something. She came to our reservation and up to me. She asked if I knew where Edward was. She is like him, pale, sharp teeth. Then it clicked, she was eyeing me hungrily so I knew she was a vampire, just like what my dad talks about."

Holy crap. Victoria looks at me and nods for us to speak privately.

"Jacob, will you stay here I need to talk with her"

He nods his head and Victoria and I walk off. Once out of his earshot we start talking.

"He knows something is up"

I nod my head.

"Bella, you need to know this. Jacob's reservation they aren't who you think. They are werewolves. Jacob will become one soon, and he won't be your friend anymore. He is going to kill you. All werewolves kill humans who were once close to him. And, he knows at least part of our plan. Bella, I know this is painful but you need to kill him."

I can't do that. I shake my head. This is not happening I can't kill my friend.

"Bella, I can't kill him, they will know a vampire did it by my smell. It needs to look like murder by a human. Please, if you don't kill him he will kill you. It's only self defense."

Why would he want to kill me? I thought we were friends. This is about Edward, he would rather me be dead than be with him. He's mad at me. And, that anger will turn into rage and then he will kill me. And killing a werewolf isn't bad, right? He technically isn't human.

"You will just be killing a talking dog"

That makes sense.

"If you don't kill him, I will kill you."

I need to be alive for Edward, and the plan. I have to become a murderer.

"Ok"

She smiles, and I dig out my camping knife from my pocket. Here I go.

I walk towards Jacob slowly. I should not be doing this, but I am. I should not have these thoughts, but I do. He must die so that I can live. And, if I don't kill him he will kill me. I have to do this.

"Bella!"

"Jacob, I'm sorry."

He gives me a questioning look and I take the knife, I hold it up and before he can react I plunge it into his chest through his heart. He staggers back in pain as the blood seeps around the wound. I take my hand off the knife and step back. The blood comes pouring out and his breathing becomes shallow. Blood comes up through his moth as he falls to the ground, breathless, unmoving and dead. And, it is my entire fault.

I killed someone, I watched him die. His blood is on my hands. Victoria walks up behind puts a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"You did the right thing. Let's go."

I nod solemnly and follow her out of the forest.

Ok just to clear some things up. The facts Victoria was telling Bella were all false. Victoria made a mistake by accidently telling Jacob a part of her plan, so she told Bella lies so she would kill Jacob and Victoria would still remain unnoticed. Yeah, sorry about the confusion.

Please review

Love you guys


	13. Fault

Authors note—yeah, I don't like this chapter at all. The next one will be better I promise. Please rate and review and I don't own twilight.

Fault

Chp 13

"Victoria! Please let me leave and get away I feel so damn bad about"

I couldn't even finish. It was too hard to say. I killed someone.

"Bella, if you leave I will track you down kill you and then all of the Cullen's! Do you want your precious Edward dead because you feel guilty?"

I shake my head as the tears spill out like water from a waterfall. I have innocent blood on my hands. What I did was not noble, stupid, selfish, and wrong in every physical way possible. No matter what I do, nothing will be able to bring fair or even partial atonement.

"Today I will let you have a day off. So whatever, shop, party or drink."

That sounds good. Party and drink. What could be better?

The phone rings and I run to pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Bella, it's Jessica. I was wondering if we could go to the mall today. I need to get some new clothes, for when I don't fit in them and there is a huge sale today."

I look at Victoria for an answer and she nods her head, urging me to go.

"Yeah, that sounds great. I'll meet you at the mall in like an hour"

"Thanks see you soon!"

"Bye"

I hang up the phone and Victoria hands me some shorts.

"Are you freakin insane!"

"Wait"

She goes to my closet and pulls out various things before coming out.

"Here"

She hands me short green shorts with black leggings and a very low cut white shirt with a matching jacket.

"I will look like I stepped out of gossip girl."

"Just do it!"

Not wanting to argue I put it all on, do my makeup and fix my hair. I tell her goodbye before bounding downstairs into the kitchen. I grab one of Charlie's beers and go out the door.

I pull up to the mall and dispose of the empty beer bottle. I walk inside and see Jessica waiting for me. We head into the mall for clothes.

Several hours later we emerge with a new wardrobe for her and a hot date outfit for me. We go our separate ways. I head down the highway, speeding so I can get home in time to fix dinner. My phone rings and it out.

"Hello?"

"It's Victoria. I was doing some spying on your dad and Billy just called. So he is going to tell you tonight. Be sure to act heartbroken and all that shit for him ok?"

"Yeah sure"

"Oh and I have a present at home for you. It will help you ease the pain."

"Ok, bye"

I hang up my phone and pull into the house. I walk straight to the kitchen and heat up last night's chicken. Charlie comes in looking sad and depressed.

And, it is my entire fault.

"Bells"

I nod my head and we go and sit at the table. Here we go.

"I don't know how to tell you this exactly but, uh, Jacob was in the forest and was stabbed. He bled to death, we don't know who killed him or why."

I let the tears fall and try to hide my guilty face. I put my hands under the table. He might know that my hands made the blade pierce through him.

The microwave dings and I go and get the chicken. We sit silently and eat. There are no words to be said.

Charlie lost a child he thought was great. And, his best friend's son. And, I killed him. I did it knowingly.

This is my entire fault.

After a heartrending dinner I head up to my room and see a small tube with a white powder in it.

Drugs

This is the gift Victoria gives me!

I let my sensible side wash away as I step closer, anything to get rid of the pain.


	14. I Never Stopped

Hello, I know, I know, I have not been putting up my chapters as fast as I used too. I am suffering from major writers block. So I will just rummage together till I Find an idea I like. Anyways, I hope you like this chap. I don't own twilight. And…… PLEASE REVIEW PEOPLE!!

I never stopped

Chp 14

I slip into the low cut short black dress and slide on my purple flats. I look perfect, but I am far from that. I pick up my packet of drugs and take one more snort. I hide them away and look at myself one last time before I turn to leave. I head downstairs and see Charlie in his suit. He nods and we walk silently into our separate cars.

"We are here not to mourn his death, but celebrate his life!"

The pastor drowns on and on. People nod their heads solemnly or give the occasional amen. And they all dab their eyes at the appropriate times. But, I do not cry. Who do I cry for? Me? And, my hopeless situation, or do I cry for Jacob, the boy I killed. I should feel bad, but I only feel numb. It is behind; I can do nothing about it.

Everyone stands up and walks to comfort Billy as the funeral ends. I walk straight out the door and practically run into my mustang.

My phone rings and I pick it up.

"Hello"

A velvety voice greets me on the other side.

"Hi!"

"Bella, would you like to meet me at my house, the rest of the family is out hunting and I would love to talk to you."

"Sure, I would love that"

I hang up the phone and speed towards Edward's. I make it there in record time and Edward is already there, waiting for me. I get out quickly and run towards him and hug him.

It feels so good to be back in his arms, to feel his cold, hard skin against my hot, soft skin.

Edward picks me up and carries me inside. He sets me on the couch and immediately sits next to me.

"Bella, you look amazing"

"Thanks"

I blush and his crooked grin comes onto his perfect face.

"I am so sorry"

"Stop, don't go there. Let's put that all in the past and just be boyfriend and girlfriend."

Edward smiles and places a light kiss on my forehead. But it is not enough. I need his lips on mine.

"You kept my promise"

What?

"To be safe", he reminds me.

I nod my head, it is not true. I am far from safe. But, I can be safe.

The idea dawns on me now. It is so sip le I do not know how I could have not thought of it before. If I am a vampire, a newborn, I could defeat Victoria in a fight.

But, I cannot ask, not yet.

"I never stopped loving you, Edward I love you."

"I love you too"

He smiles back down at me and I know that things are finally ok between us. He tilts his head down slowly and places a kiss on my lips. The electric current surges through us and us immediately deepen the kiss.

He brings a hand up and cups my cheek. This is it, a kiss with Edward. This is what I have been dreaming of for moths.

He lowers his head to mine and puts his lips on top of mine and we began kissing. It feels even better than what I remember. He pulls back and smiles at me, he is now properly deceived.


	15. What?

This chapter is longer than normal and…….. fluffy! Well, to be honest I suck at writing romances, so I did my best. Please critique would be much appreciated.

I don't own twilight….. But I wish I could borrow, or keep, Edward.

Ohh and please Review! And thanks for all the support. I never thought my first fanfiction would be 15 chaps. Long!

Oh and I made a short little story for Titanic, please check it out!

XOXO

Disgirl07

Chp 15

Edward comes forward again and kisses me patiently. My hands wind themselves into his hair and his hands roam my back. I pull back gasping for air, but it doesn't stop him. He kisses down my neck leaving a trail of fire.

God, this feels so good.

Finally, I have enough air and we go back to our kissing. He nibbles on my bottom lip and I open my mouth to him. He sends his tongue in, tasting me. We soon are in a battle of the tongues, both desperate for control. I let my hands slide to the bottom of his shirt and together we pull it off. I break the kiss and look at him.

His glorious abs shine before me.

He looks like a damn Abercrombie model!

I run my hands up his chest and he leeds my lips to his, once again. His hands find their way to the bottom of my dress and we pull it off.

"You're Beautiful"

I blush as he looks up and down me. I feel a feint vibrate in his jeans

"Edward"

He nods and I get off him. He picks up the phone.

"Alice, I am going to kill you!"

I smile to myself, leave it to Alice to ruin the mood.

"What! But how could she?"

He looks at me then across the room.

Shit, does Alice know that o killed Jacob? Or, that I am being held hostage by Victoria. How, I have to deceive the Cullen's in order to save their lives. Because, they are hiding something.

"Die?"

Shit!

"Yes, I will protect her."

He hang up the phone and looks at me with a look of pure pain.

"Edward, I can explain"

He gives me a questioning glance. Crap! Maybe he doesn't know?

"Alice had a vision that you are going to be killed"

"By who? How?"

"Laurent was going to suck your blood"

What! But Victoria would protect me. She can't do this without me! She will not let me be killed.

"That is not possible. Was no one with me?"

"No, none of us were with you"

"Anyone else?"

"Just Laurent"

How could Victoria let me die? Is she dead? Did Laurent kill her?

Edward comes and places his cold, strong arms around me.

I need something to drink.

"I am thirsty"

"What do you want?"

"Beer, vodka, no I take that back a dry Martini"

Edward laughs and smiles at me.

"You're funny"

My expression must have told him otherwise because the smile was soon vanished.

"You're serious?"

I nod my head. This is not going well.

"Bella", he whispers.

Great now I have hurt him.

I start laughing and he looks up shocked.

"I was kidding! But, I would love some water"

"You prat"

He swats me lightly on the arm and walks off into the kitchen. I walk quickly over to my black dress and slip it on. I take out my phone from inside my pocket. I have one new message. I open it quickly.

"Bella, I think Alice is looking in your future now. Get her not to.

Xoxo

Victoria"

I delete the message quickly and stuff my phone back in my pocket just as Edward comes in with my water. He hands it to me and I thank him.

"Um, Edward"

I look up through my eyes and attempt to be seductive, I probably failed miserably.

"Yes"

"Will you do me a favor, love?"

He smiles and nods his head.

"Tonight, after our little make out session, will have to….. you know relive the stress. So could you please have Alice not look in my future? That would just be embarrassing and awkward. She can look tomorrow morning. I swear I won't leave the house or do anything even remotely dangerous."

He thinks it over and finally sighs in defeat. He pulls out his cell phone and calls Alice. She agrees, thankfully, and I am given time with Victoria.

"So can I come over tonight after Charlie is asleep?"

Oh crap!

What do I do!

"Edward, I want to save myself for marriage and I will be far to tempted tonight with the mood I am in. But, if you don't come over the next night, you will be facing a seriously angry Bella"

He gives me his original goofy grin and aggresses.

That was way to close.

I say goodbye to Edward and practically run to my car.


	16. Surprises

Ok here is the next chap. There is a lot of dialogue in this one and it is pretty short.

I don't own twilight

Please review

XOXO

Disgirl07

Surprises

I pull into the driveway and jump out of my car.

Thankfully, Charlie was having a late night at the station. I run upstairs and burst into my room, to see Victoria sitting on my bed.

"Why the hell were you going to let Laurent kill me? You need me!"

Her eyes went wide with shock.

"What"

She doesn't know. She doesn't know Laurent is here.

"Alice had a vision that Laurent killed me!"

"I swear I had no idea. He doesn't even know I am here!"

"Well then, we need to look out for him"

"We could get him on our side."

"Your side, I'm a hostage"

She smiles wickedly before answering.

"Yes, but you love every minute of it"

She caught me there.

"Now, since Alice is looking in your future I have to disappear. But, my good friend, who is in on this too will help."

Oh shit!

"My best friend just so happens to be a vegetarian vampire. She does it to trick them, it is quite brilliant. Now, her name is Felicity. She will join your school tomorrow. I have already told her everything. She keeps in touch with me, so I will be able to check up on you."

"What do I have to do?"

This is not going to be good.

"Be friends with Felicity, and continue to seduce Edward. And, try to act as normal as possible. I will be back soon. Love you lots"

I roll my eyes.

"Here"

She hands me some crack and smiles.

"I know you like it"

"I'll do what you said, now bye!"

"Don't pull anything, I'll know and the consequence will not be pretty."

I nod my head and she jumps out of the window.

The doorbell rings and I run downstairs to get it. I open the door to see an extremely happy Jessica.

"Hi Jess"

"Hi!"

"Come in?"

She nods her head and we step inside.

"So…."

"Mike proposed!"

She lets out a squeal and I join her as we jump excitedly all over the kitchen.

"Let me see the ring!"

She sticks her hand out dramatically and a huge diamond on a gold band shines before my eyes.

"Look!"

She takes the ring off and shows me the inside. It says, "I will never leave you"

We giggle as she puts the ring back on.

"We are going to have the wedding after I have the baby!"

"That is awesome!"

"But I need a wedding planner"

"I can think of one"

We smile at each other and scream at the same time.

"Alice!"

We fall into another fir of giggles.

"I'm starving"

Oh right I forgot!

"How about Pizza Hut?"

She smiles hugely, and I know that pizza is a big hit. We walk out of the house and into my car.

We go and act like complete girls. But even with all the fun, I can't help but be nervous about tomorrow. Alice and Edward will be starting their first days and so will Felicity.

It will not be a good day.


	17. Passing Notes

Ok so I will be in Hawaii for the next week and a half so I won't be getting anymore chapters out. The script handwriting is Edward's.

This was a cute little chapter that I wanted to write before the next one.

I don't own twilight

Ooh and just because I am gone doesn't mean you have an excuse to not review……

XOXO

Disgirl07

Chp. 17

Passing notes

I pull up to school and right next to a silver Volvo get out quickly and I am greeted by Edward.

"Alice almost went nuts not looking into your future."

I laugh and try to cover up my guilty face, I hate lying to him.

"Well, I believe that you should live one day at a time and not worry about the future, you can tell Alice that."

He smiles my favorite crooked grin.

"No thanks"

We laugh as we walk hand and hand into our first class; Edward requested we have all of our classes together. I take my usual seat in the back and Edward sits next to me. The class starts coming in. I smile to Jessica and she smiles back. And, then, a new girl comes in, Felicity.

Edward tenses up immediately.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

"She's a vampire"

"Does she work for Laurent?"

He tenses and focuses in n her thoughts. I send a glance up to felicity and point to Edward's head. She nods her head, and hopefully blocked her thoughts.

"What is she thinking?"

"She's nervous. She didn't know a vampire would be here, and she is afraid that I am not a vegetarian."

"She's a vegetarian?"

"Yes"

I smile as she takes her seat at the front of the class. The teacher walks in and immediately starts drowning on about Hamlet.

Edward pulls out a piece of paper and two pens. He hands a pen to me and scribbles down something on the paper.

Ahh this is so boring! Why did I come back?

To be with me silly.

Ooh, yes, that is a very good reason. But I think I would rather be at my house with you than here.

Oh, how naughty Mr. Cullen. Too bad I loved the idea.

I wasn't thinking about that. Look who is the naughty one now?

Ooh, well that doesn't seem like as much fun.

Silly Bella

Like you never have naughty thoughts

I have them all the time

Ooh, and what are they, please tell me. In detail.

Are you sure?

Yes!!

Well I would love to drive you home immediately and kiss you senseless on my bed. You will take my shirt of and I take of yours and your bra. I will kiss every square inch of your body before working my way down to a more sensitive and much more fun area. I will take sure that all of our clothes are soon of and I will kiss you like you have never been kissed. I will then thrust myself into you and steal your virginity. I 

will trust harder and harder until we both reach or climaxes and fall on top of each other. Then we do it again.

That sounds like fun, let's go!

Silly Bella, you know we can't. I will surely hurt you.

Maybe I want to be hurt.

I'm sorry Bella.

Sometimes, sorry doesn't cut it.

Bella, I thought we put this in the past. What I did was wrong, and I promise I will never do it again. I love you, Bella, I do not want to break your hurt again, I promise.

How can I be sure?

Let's skip the rest of the day. And after we have some fun, I will prove to you that I will never break your heart again.

Ok

I love you

I love you too

The bell rings and we rush out of the class and get into his car.


	18. Passion

Sorry about the long wait, I just got back from Hawaii. So this is my first lemon I hope it was good, but it is probably a piece of crap. Thanks for all the support and I do not own twilight, I wish, but don't we all?

Please review, I love your reviews it inspires me to write more.

XOXO

Disgirl07

We sneak past the teachers and run into his Volvo. He slams down the pedal and we steer out of the school parking lot and onto the main road.

"Where are we going?"

He gives me my favorite crooked grin and squeezes my hand.

"It's a surprise"

He grins seductively at me before turning his eyes back to the road. He pushes the pedal down faster and I watch as the trees zoom by us in a fast green blur. He takes a turn to the right and leads us down a dirt road.

"Edward, where are we going?"

He shakes his head and smiles down at me. We continue on in silence until we reach the end of the road. Before I can even blink, he opens the door for me and takes my hand.

I look out into the forest where a picnic is set up in the middle of a grassy field. It is so beautiful. There is a slow tinkling river off the side and flowers dot the grass in playful spurts. The sky above is a brilliant blue and the whole scenery takes my breath away.

"Wow"

"Do you like it?"

I nod my head, I am in complete shock. I cannot even form a coherent thought, it is just too stunning, to beautiful, to completely send totally romantic and I do not deserve it at all.

We walk slowly and sit down on the silk blanket. He hands me a plate of my favorite foods and I immediately dig in.

It is so good; who knew a vampire who doesn't even eat human food is a pheonamal cook?

"Is it good?"

I smile and take another bite.

"Edward, this is amazing!"

He smiles at me and takes my empty plate away from me.

He walks over and sits right next to me.

He places a gentle kiss on my forehead and trails down till he reaches my lips; I attack him with a wave of passion and soon am lips are moving in sync. I gasp and pull back for air as Edward trails kisses down my neck, when I have enough oxygen I attack him again we kiss patiently. He should have pulled back a long time ago, but he doesn't. And, I couldn't be happier.

I part my lips and his tongue comes in and explores my mouth. I wrap my hands in his hair and pull him as close to me as possible.

I trail my hands down and undo the first button of his shirt. He smiles against my lips and I undo all the buttons letting his shirt fall to the ground. I stare at his perfection; he is way hotter than an Abercrombie model.

Hell, Edward makes chace Crawford and brad Pitt look ugly!

He puts his lips back on mine and we start the fight of tongues again. His hands trail down to the bottom of my shirt and lift it up over my head. He pulls back and stares at me. I blush and he places his cool hand to my cheek.

"You are the most beautiful person I have ever met in my whole existence. I smile and we continue kissing. I wrap my legs around him and hear a faint, shit, come out of his lips. I chuckle. He rubs his hands up my stomach and to my back. He takes off my bra and lays me down in the grass. He runs a hand over my breast and I feel my nipples go hard. He kisses each breast and my back arches into him.

"I need you so much"

"I thought you were going to save yourself for marriage?"

He is right, that was a promise I had always made to myself. I look down at my virginity ring and read the fine script.

True love Waits.

I smile and look up into his gorguoes eyes.

"True love did wait."

I take my ring off my finger and hand it to him.

"I love you"

"I love you, Bella; I always have, and always will."

We continue our kissing and soon his hands are undoing the bottom and sliding my pants off. I take his off to and we kiss frantically before our underwear his removed.

I feel him near me, and I need him inside me. I need Edward like I need air. I love him. It is as simple, yet as complicated as that.

"Edward"

His name is a mere whisper on my lips but he understands.

He places himself at my entrance and comes in slowly; I feel a rush of pain and pleasure. He thrusts harder, and my virginity is gone. I thought I would feel different, and I do. I feel as if a part of me is complete, I am now whole.

He thrusts harder and harder and we move in snye before being pushed over the edge into a place of complete pleasure.


	19. Monster

Chp. 19

Ok, so the story is almost over. I have about one or two chapters left. Please rate and review. Thanks for all the support.

XOXO

Disgirl07

I always thought I would feel different after having sex. I thought I would feel changed, special. But I don't. I look over at Victoria as she drives the car. I was so surprised to see her in my room. She brought felicity with her, of course. She already had a bag ready and told me we had to go. This was wrong, I should not be here. I should have told Edward. His family could have taken down Victoria. I was just being so selfish.

I thought that if I worked with Victoria, that he would never be able to leave me. And, I was right. He never left me, but I was forced to leave him. I should be with him. We should be happy, me wrapped in his arms. But, here I am speeding down a highway to a destination that is probably my death.

"Victoria, what is the secret the Cullen's have been keeping?"

"I don't know", she smiled wickedly, "but, we will find out."

Felicity let out a short burst of laughter and her and Victoria exchanged a knowing glance.

This is not going to be good.

"So what happened with Edward?"

"Nothing", I mumble.

"What!" felicity screams?

"We had sex."

"Thank God!" they say together.

They pull around a corner and we drive along another long stretch of land in silence. Then it hits me.

I know exactly what they are going to do. They are going to trick the Cullen's into revealing their secret, by pretending to attempt to kill me. I see it all now; they were just waiting for me to have sex with Edward. They wanted an inseparable bond between us, so he would do anything to get me back.

This is my entire fault. I am leading them to their death all because I was stupid and selfish and wanted to do something new and exciting. I wanted to prove that I could be independent and special and powerful. And, this is what I got.

All the pain, for nothing. My phone ring s and I pull it out of my pocket. Victoria grabs it from me to see who is calling then hands it back to me.

"Hello"

I hear muffled sobs on the other line.

"Hello", I repeat.

"Bella?"

Jessica.

"Yes, it's me. Jessica what's wrong?"

I hear a small sob and the clearing of a throat. She takes a deep breath and answers.

"I had a miscarriage"

She sobs again, and I realize her pain. The baby brought her and mike together. Without it he might not marry her.

"Mike"

"He said he will still marry me, because he loves me"

"That's great!"

"No! I lost the baby! I actually wanted to have the baby. I wanted to be a mom and hold him in my arms. I wanted to have a family!"

"Jess", I whisper.

There are no words now. There is nothing I could say to comfort her. The pain of a mom losing a child must be unbearable.

"Jess, I'll stay with you and talk as long as you want. It will be ok, I promise."

And it would be ok, for her. She will marry mike. They will be happy and in love, it is the simple classic romance. Other, than my screwed up one. My boyfriend leaves me because he doesn't want to kill me then comes back, and now I am the one who tricked and deceived and has lead him and his family to his death. And, my death.

I have become a monster.


	20. Realizing

Ok, here is the last chapter…..

Enjoy

XOXO

Disgirl07

I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep until I awoke. Felicity was staring at me with her intense eye. This was uncomfortable.

"Bella", the usual warm friendly voice of Victoria had now turned cold, and harsh. I flinched at her voice but replied.

"Victoria"

"Bella, they will be here soon."

Edward. I wish that for once he would just not love me, that he would be glad I am being led to my death. I do not want him and his family to be in danger because I befriended a murderous vampire. I was so stupid! How could I have possibly thought that being with Victoria would make Edward love me and me to be able to protect him?

We didn't need her to love each other; all we needed was each other. But, how could he love me now?

I couldn't help but be a little curious at what their secret was, what were they hiding? Is it something big? Knowing the Cullen's, it probably is. I sighed and looked outside the car window to find we had stopped in a meadow with giant mountains surrounding us. If I were being lead to my death I would think this place was beautiful. But, now, how do you make the hangman's noose be beautiful.

There is a soft knock on the window shield and felicity rolls down the window.

Laurent.

"Victoria, can I have her now?"

He looks towards me then back at Victoria. It must be hard for him, me being here. Knowing that he can drink my blood, but he can't does it know?

"No"

Daggers glare back at Victoria and she just returns the gaze with as much fervor.

"We will wait"

"What is the secret?" felicity asks.

"I don't know"

"Then why are we here!" felicity snaps.

"To kill them!"

"They do not deserve death!"

"I made you, now obey me!"

Victoria had the final word. Felicity slumped back in her seat and Laurent took a step back.

"I'll be back"

Victoria put her hand up to stop him, and soon all three heads were facing the same way.

"Their coming" she said.

She looked at me then back in the direction where the Cullen's were coming.

"Out of the car!"

We got out of the car quickly and walked to the center of the meadow. We were outnumbered, and Victoria didn't care.

Why didn't she care?

"Victoria"

She looks at me and nods for me to go on.

"You are outnumbered, how do you expect to win?"

She laughs a cold, vicious laugh like what you see on CSI when the bad guy is interrogated.

"Yes, but I never lose"

I looked towards the north and could soon see five figures walking towards us. Laurent steps behind me and grabs my wrists so I cannot escape. Victoria stands on my right while Felicity stands on my left.

They draw closer and soon we are face to face with the Cullen's.

"Let her go", Edward growls.

"Edward!"

He looks at me and I cannot help but feel like a damsel in distress, this is pathetic.

"Please, let them kill me. Don't risk any of your lives because of me."

I knew the offer was pointless, but I had to say it.

"Bella, if you die I die"

Victoria laughs.

"Edward, so overprotective. If you want your precise alive, tell me what it is you and your family are keeping."

Laurent's teeth graze my neck and I involuntary shiver. This is not going to turn out well.

Edward looks to Carsle and he shakes his head no.

"Bella, I'm sorry"

What?

"We can't tell"

Laurent punches me in the stomach and the breath gets knocked out me. I see Edward try to catch me, but go back.

"I'll tell", Esme says.

"No"

They all look at each other than before I can ever blink they are attacking Victoria, Felicity and Laurent.

I back away as the fighting pursues. I can't tell who is fighting who. All there is are arrays of colors and growls.

Someone falls and I immeaditly see Emmet ripping felicity into shreds. A smile is plastered on his lips and I can't help but giggle.

Another one down- Laurent.

Alice, Esme, and Rosalie back away from the fighting towards me. Classic. The Cullen's want it o be a fair fight between Edward and Victoria.

I watch in horror as my love battles my foe. The swing back and forth and looks as if they are dancing. Edward lunges foreword and Victoria is caught off guard. Edward rips her to pieces and Carlise immediately starts a fire.

They run me back and I see there are two cars, Edwards Volvo and Carlisle's Mercedes.

Edward takes my hand and puts me in the car. No one says anything.

The Mercedes drives off leaving Edward and I alone.

It all happened so fast. Last night I had sex with Edward and then there was a giant fight all in less than 24 hours. Edward starts driving and we do not speak for over two hours. He finally stops the car on the side of the road and turns towards me.

"Edward, I am sorry. I was stupid and selfish and I just wanted you to love me and I Alost got you killed."

He stops my rambling and places a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"Bella, I will always love you. I always have and always will. I love even with your faults and failures. I forgive you for what happened and I want you to know that I love more than anything in eternity."

A big goofy smile spreads across my face and I look into his love filled eyes.

"Bella, will you marry me?"

My mind feels like it is hyperventalating. Edward just asked me to marry him. I could think of no other words than this.

"Yes!"

He smiles and kisses me. And suddenly, it doesn't matter what his secret is, or what happened. All that matters is that he loves and I love him. And that is all we will ever need.

And we lived happily ever after for all of eternity.

Ok, so this is it- the last chapter. Thanks for reading and I hope this is a good first fan fic. I have a Titanic story called Life or Death so please check that out.

Oh and I cannot decide- should I write an all human twilight fan fic- or something about renesmee?

Please review and thank you so much!


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